Friday, September 05, 2003

 
From time to time I get email intended for you know who. Got this today

dear fuckwit,
i know one of ur lackeys is reading this and not you!
but i must pass on my utter disgust at you for gagging your two
backbenchers on
the question of zionist aggression on the palestinian people.
its things such as this that make people like me , and all my friends and
family, want to work even harder at keeping you out of parliament.
you like everyone in your party since keating are nothing but liberals in
disguise.
YOU WILL NEVER BE PRIME MINISTER
and i will vote greens everytime
all the best

Imagine what the real mccoy gets. Being one of aforesaid lackeys must be depressing.
posted by Simon 1:42 am

Wednesday, September 03, 2003

 
Martin phoned. "Mate, fines sup smar bout fair, nt Rudd cks tup" (You finally say something smart about current affairs, and Kevin Rudd stuffs it up") See Deciphering Martin.

Too right. I wish these guys would get hold of the songsheet.
posted by Simon 2:42 pm

 
Hillary's on my tail. I'd better hi-tail it.

posted by Simon 12:14 am

Monday, September 01, 2003

 
I'm going to be rich!

The other day I got this.

Sir,

It is indeed my pleasure to write you this letter, which I believe will be a
surprise to you. I
actually found your email address at the trade and email listings here in
Pretoria, South
Africa.

I work at the Ministry of Minerals and Energy in South Africa and have the
mandate of two
of my senior colleagues to search discreetly and diligently for a foreign
partner that could
assist us concerning a business matter which will be of mutual benefit to all.

We do require your assistance in the transfer of US$8,300,000 (Eight million,
three hundred
thousand, United States Dollars). This fund emanate from over invoiced contract
amount
that was executed for my Ministry by a mining company, which has since gone into
liquidation. Although the actual contract amount was paid to the company, the
over
invoiced amount of US$8,300,000 has since been lying in the Ministry’s escrow
account at
the Reserve Bank of South Africa pending proper proof of claim, We are privy
to this
classified information by virtue of our position in the ministry.

However we are unable to proceed alone with this transaction, because the civil
service
code of conduct laws strictly prohibits us from engaging in private business or
operating any
foreign account, hence my search for a foreigner whose company and account
(business
or private), we can use to transfer the money.

We have file copies of the evidence of award of the original contract in our
possession
and the job completion certificate, while soliciting for a reliable and
committed foreign
partner, that we will use to apply for the payment of the outstanding amount of
US
$8,300,000.

The basis of this transaction is that the assets of the liquidated Mining
company, which won
the contract from my ministry is being acquired by your company and we shall
arrange all
the necessary documentation in conjunction with one of the ex- directors of the
closed
mining company. Acquisition of company is a very common practice here in my
country and
the officials responsible for documentation have been settled on this matter.

Please note that this transaction is 100% risk free and we shall abide strictly
to all the legal
procedures as contained in our laws and international laws in
transferring the fund.

I ask that you keep this communication strictly confidential, as the two senior
officials
involved are very highly placed government functionaries and would not like to
be exposed
.

Please go through this letter carefully and if you are interested in assisting
us, kindly notify
me urgently via my email address, as time is of the essence in this
transaction. Upon your
acceptance to assist us I shall provide you with more detailed information on
procedures
and also negotiate your percentage with you for your assistance.

Thank you and God Bless, as I wait for your urgent response,

My Sincere Regards.

Mr Wilson Makella.


I REPLIED THIS:

Mr Makella,

I am interested in your proposal. Please advise further.

Simon Crean.

THEN I GOT THIS

Dear Simon Crean,

Your response to my proposal has been received and I am indeed glad at your prompt response to my request. I assure you that you will not regret working with me and my colleagues. As we say here in South Africa "our words are our honor".

However as you know the internet is not too secured anymore to disclose the complete details of this transaction. The recent increase in terrorist threat all over the world has made our government to set up internet security survelliance unit, which monitors every communication on the internet. I would therefore request that you email me your confidential phone and fax number so that I can call you or fax to you detail explanation on the process and modalities for us to follow to quickly conclude this transaction within an estimated time frame of two weeks.

Please note that you must keep this transaction very confidential to yourself, as we are still in active Government service. Also note that time is of the essence of this transaction, as payment of foreign contractors will soon be coming to an end this fiscal quarter and our plan is to include you in the schedule of payment for this quarter.

As I said earlier once I have your tel/fax number, I will call you to explain the complete plan to you or if you wish I will give you my telephone number to call me.

I await your prompt response.

My Sincere Regards.

Wilson Makella

AND I SENT THIS

Mr Makella,

My phone number is 61 6277 7744. If I'm not there, ask for Willie.

I am very excited about this proposal and look forward to doing business with you.

Yours sincerely,

Simon


LET'S SEE HOW IT GOES!

posted by Simon 7:46 pm