Wednesday, September 17, 2003

 
More on his special skill

When President of the Young Liberals, John Howard once met Sir Robert Menzies.

"My dear boy", the Great Man rumbled, "you have no personality, you are eminently forgettable, you are no orator. People are not drawn to you. Your voice sounds silly. In short you have absolutely nothing going for you, except one thing:

"You are an arse-licker. You are the most enthusiastic arse-licker I have encountered in seventy years of public life. You obviously enjoy it immensely my boy, the way you go about it. Cherish that. Nurture it, don't let them take that away from you. You will be Prime Minister one day."

Then Sir Robert had his arse licked.
posted by Simon 3:10 pm

Tuesday, September 16, 2003

 
"I never met an arse I didn't want to lick". So begins John Howard in his new book "How to Succeed in Australian Politics".

This is a marvelous read, by a writer with a sure hand. Its thesis can be boiled down thus: if you're a man with little going for you in policy, personality or presentation, you must be prepared to exercise the tongue.

As Howard writes: "you have to lick and lick until there's nothing left to lick, and then you know you're just getting started. When they ask you to stop, you just lick harder. When they say you're licking so hard it hurts, you know you're actually getting somewhere."

And elsewhere: "Before I entered politics, I used to just lick the arses of people I met walking down the street. It comes naturally to me. They don't always thank you for it, but you can invariably tell they enjoy it. Often the look on their face is thanks enough".

An invaluable tome for anyone considering public life in Australia. In all good bookstores.
posted by Simon 4:50 pm